Days Off

Although I am not much of a Christmas person, I am enjoying the time off from work.  I just received Josh Groban’s “Awake” and am enjoying learning the words to the songs.  I am also happily cross stitching away my time between reading.  One hour stitching and one hour reading and back and forth.  I love just whiling the time away relaxing.  I have both cats and one of the dogs on the bed with me.  Jean Luc, my sheltie, is wandering back and forth asking to go out.  I suppose I will have to get up shortly to let him out, but even that is enjoyable. 

I talked to my sister-in-law for about an hour and a half this mroning.  I wish my brother and his wife lived closer.  Getting out to Maryland (almost Delaware) is not as easy as it used to be.  I know that I could fly out at any time, but for some reason this year wasn’t the year it was meant to be.  At least Nate was here right before my little accident.  Next summer, I plan on getting there – even if it is just for a long weekend  Maybe on the way back from Boston sometime.

Surgery Date..

Monday, I finally scheduled my next surgery.  My MRI indicated that the kneecap is severly tilted, but that I have only a tiny mensicus tear.  My OS noted that the hardware does need to come out as well.  I was fine with arthoscopic surgery, but I didn’t realize that in order to clean up the back of the patella and remove the screws, that he has to go back in through the original incision site.  The lateral release for the tilt, the clean up, etc. can be done via arthoscopic.  So a huge incision (he will try to clean out scar tissue as well, and 3 smaller incisions for the scope.  Happy days.  Because of the hardware removal, he wants me to be very careful, not put much weight on the knee for the first two weeks.  That means two weeks off of work. 

At least this time I can prepare ahead.  I have the paperwork for my medical leave and short term disability in process.  I have cleared out my calendar and am crossing my fingers that this is only 2 weeks.  I have two Toastmasters Leadership Instititutes to handle during my leave.  Aren’t I so lucky.  I will have surgery at 8 am on January 15.  Much nicer than 3 pm with no food after midnight then going for 3 hours in surgery.  He thinks he will be done in an hour, but you never know.  I may or may not need to stay overnight – it will depend…

I am getting my stitching in order, my books ready, a small coffee pot upstairs and a mini fridge.  I have cleaned out my polar ice thingey.   I love that thing and this time I will have plenty of ice bought ahead of time.  My ex says I can use his freezer!  Isn’t he nice?  I am please that pre and post-op appointments are already scheduled.  My doctor has fully explained everything so I feel much, much better. 

My mom and brother came by yesterday and we celebrated an early holiday.  My daughter made a lovely dinner (we have more leftovers than ever).  They met Cassie for the second time.  Oh yes, and they now know that my son and Cassie are an item.  It was relaxed and fun.  We will celebrate very quietly here at home on Christmas Day.  Then back to work!

 Speaking of which, I am still uncertain of the future of my job.  I spoke with a coworker in my group and she was actually jealous.  She thinks that since they are selecting so few subject matter experts, that this is actually a promotion.  I still don’t know if I feel the same way, but one can only wait and see.  I think it will be March before everything falls out.  In the meantime, we have another client converting onto the system and we are gearing up for the research to bring them on.  In the meantime, we are still having fallout from some of the project teams for the current conversion.  I get the distinct impression that my boss isn’t happy with how the architect on the project has handle major issues.  She is irrated to find out that several of us know more about his projects and project teams than he does and other no one know anything.  I am getting a bit tired of getting sucked into issues late in the game and expecting to come up with a direction with little or no invovlvement.  Then to have the AA on the project argue with tme.  If he had an answer, he should have presented it.  All in all, the issue is really that his teams don’t respect him or his direction – so…

Stitching on:  “Summer Fairy” by Teresa Wentzler

Listening to:  “Awake” by Josh Groban

Reading:  “Brother Odd” by Dean Koontz

Flying Home…

I forgot to mention the interesting trip back from Boston.  First of all it was raining in Boston.  We got to the airport at the usual time and went to check in.  We knew our flight through Milwaukee was showing up as delayed but we were immdiately told it was stuck due to mechanical issues.  We were rebooked onto the direct flight to KC which is what we originally wanted anyway since it arrives only minutes after the direct flight that leaves 1 1/2 hours later.  Of course, it would be an hour late.  Okay, no big deal – we head off to the bar – have a couple of drinks – gripe about work for an hour, then agree not to discuss work anymore.  We eat, talk to other associates of our company in Boston for other reasons and head for security. 

I was lucky and missed the more detailed check by one person.  I go get a Starbucks and go sit down to read.  I ended up talking to this nice young guy and his older friend for awhile.  Then we boarded. Just as the attendant was on the 2nd trip with the drink cart – about 40 minutes into the flight – she had just asked me if I wanted another diet pepsi when she said ‘ Oh my god!” and flew around me leaving the beverage cart locked beside me.  Come to find out, the guy I was talking to at the gate – the young one – passed out.  She finally got him into the isle with some help.  Just like in the movies they called to ask if there was a doctor on board.  And there was!  It was a 3 hour flight and for most of it this guy laid on the floor.  Natives were restless about 2 hours in and they finally got him back in his seat so folks could use the facilities. 

At the baggage carosel, he told me he thought the coffee he had sped up his heart rate and changed his blood pressure.  He said he felt silly, but the doctor was concerned about his still being light headed.  He said he was giving up caffeine.  I suppose I should, but I will cut back!

Freaking Out

On occasion I just simply wig out over things that i have no control over.  Recently on a business trip, I found that I may have my job change.  My compnay had another company come in and evaluate how we do development. Several recommendations were made – one of which was to create subject matter experts who would consulst full time on projects.  My boss mentioned that the only person in my job family under my supervisior that had been selected was me – for the retirment system.  Granted, I know that I should take this as a compliment, but it also means that the 5 years that I have spend learning the system from scratch being the architecture analyst for my system has bit me in the butt.  I personally think that I am more valuable in the job that I am doing right now, but who knows.  I love my job, I work very hard and now this. 

What would change you ask, well my officer for one – it would truly move me to development so my title and supervisor would change.  Granted, my current supervisor is lousy at it, but she is great at the rest of her job.    I woudl no longer be an architect so I don’t know what I would be.  My friend, T, has also been selected and said I could talk to her.  She gave me a bit of background, but honestly, it really isn’t different than what I really do today.  Hey, what do I do?  Panic?  I suppose I shall see.

Reading:  “On the Run” by Iris Johansen

Stitching:  “Noah’s Sub”

Watching:  rerun of “Top Chef”

Missing Dad…

I am not certain why, but in the past several weeks I have found that I miss my dad so very much.  It seems as if just yesterday that he told me he loved me…little did I realize that only hours later he would be gone.  I suppose I knew it when he abruptly told me he loved me, and to call back at 9 am tomorrow Sweet Pea.  I know in my heart it was easier for him to go quickly rather than dying slowly of lung cancer, but I wish I had more time.  47 years were just not enough somehow. 

So often I still just want to talk to him.  Be comforted by him, etc.  During the holidays, dad always did all of the cooking.  He would be happy for us that Cassie finally moved in, that Heather has a job she loves, that Bob is fixing his car.  He would have been so proud of the dogs for behaving there on Thanksgiving.  I just miss the hugs and being “Big Sister”.  I am sure that I will never get over those feelings, I know I haven’t with my brother, Larry, and he has been gone 25 years.  I remember things we did together and it makes me laugh and then cry.  I love and hate it when I open a book and he scrawled his signature in MY books.  I miss that so much! 

I hate packing

Well, I leave for Boston tomorrow and I still haven’t packed a darn thing other than my piece to stitch.  How sad is that?  I found my ziploc for the makeup in my purse – not much, but stuff I really like to have – my Burt’s Bees chap stick and cuticle cream are at the top of the list.  Interestingly enough I had all of my work stuff ready on Thursday.  Here is the story.

At 9:30 I was on the phone with the Boston Project Manager while I was asking if she minded if I rescheduled all of my bosses one on ones.  My boss was caught late on Wednesday by our VP asking if she could stay in town Monday for a client presentation.  Not a problem – but the power went out. Fortunately my phone stayed on so finished my call, made my notations for the reschedules and sat in the dark with my coworkers.  Soon the phones died as well, but in the light from the windows, I cleaned out file folder for almost 3 hours until they finally decidced to release us from work.  The BCP plan went into action.  Many of my coworkers took a long, long lunch, but I couldn’t face walking down the 9 flights of stairs with the potential of having to go back up them just to go down again.  It was easier to work, whittle down files and organize.  Apparently a transformer in a sub-basement blew causing the power outage.  It was a very interesting day.

One of the funny items came when I received a call on my cell phone from a friend who was waitng for a delayed flight out of Pheonix back to KC to tell me that our Toastmasters meeting was cancelled.  I could just laught.  No kidding, no power – inside conference room – why have a meeting.  Now it wish we had, it would have been fun.  We held one in the dark at another club when the power went out during a meeting.  Oh well, a lost opprotunity. 

Last month, I stitched and stitched, this month I have not had the focus.  I did my MRI and yes, there is a mensicus tear and possibly other bad stuff shown.  I know I will have plenty of time to stitch next month when I am stuck at home again.  I am not sure how my son feels, but at least the girls are here this time to help.  And yes, I am moving a coffed maker upstairs!  At least I know now that the pain isn”t all in my head.  I was wondering.  The joint line aches all of the time – my OS just keeps wishing I were older.  Hum….

I show get back to work.

 Rereading:  “The Wizards First Rule”  by Terry Goodkind

Stitching:  “Angel Procession” by Teresa Wentzler

Watching:  “Flip This House”

Busy Weekend

I hate the cold, ice, and snow.  It took 2 1/2 hours to get home on Wednesday night.  Cindy and I arrived on the street to catch the 3:47 bus just as the ice was picking up.  At 4:20 we ran – okay they ran and I walked to catch the bus down the street (at least it was warmer).  It took 25 minutes to get around the corner.  It took until 5:13 to get down 4 streets.  It took 45 minutes for the rest of the trip to the bus stop.  The kids had been waiting almost 2 hours.  The drive home – 3 miles seemed to take forever.  I stayed home on Thursday after falling on my butt letting the dogs out before work.  At least my knee was safe.

Speaking of falling, I went to my OS because of my knee catching.  Come to find out he thinks I have a meniscus tear on the medial side – hence the catching and the joint line pain.  He also thinks that the bottom screw is causing problems as well.  The good thing is that the kneecap is healed, but I stil have the potential for dislocation.  He doesn’t want to do a TTT – he would rather try less radical means to preven the problem and see how long we can wait for a total knee replacement.  He would like to wait at least another 7 years until I am 55.  That would give me a reasonably long time with the knee.  He also hopes that TKR will last longer than the 10 to 15 years they do now.  Mom and I were pleased by the conservative approach.  I will have to have the meniscus repaired – my MRI is Monday, but my follow up appointment is the 18th.  He wants to do the repair in January after I have some time off again.

I spent my Saturday at a Catholic Forensics League policy debate tournament in Kansas.  I heard great teams.  Style is a bit different than it is in Missour and I was surprized to be with college debaters as judges in all but one round.  In that round the community judge had not a clue.  I know she filled out her ballot early while the other judge and I waited.  At least we voted together.  The rounds were fun, but the day was long.  The intent was to do the first 3 rounds on Friday, but since schools were closed – all of them were run on Saturday.  I got there at 7:30 for check in, but they chose to save college debators (I may be old but I qualify as one) until later rounds.  I had 2 early rounds off and had time to make new friends.   I met a community judge who is married to a Chinese gentleman.  She married at 35 and has a 14 year old at the school where the tourney was held.  Her story was really fascinating.  I had never really thought of the cultural differences. 

Now that I am rambling, I was reminded that Friday on my way home from work (I drove because of the doctor’s appointment), that I saw a man at the corner who reminded me of my dad.  In fact, my mind went there and I had to take a seocond and third look to tell myself that dad was gone.  So often I have this feeling that he is watching out for me.  I know he would be pleased with my knee recovery and that I am back at tournaments with the kids.  I know feels my pain at having to give up bowling which I so love.  He knew what it meant to me.  I know he would also be pleased that Cassie finally moved in – maybe not that she is really with Bob, but he would be happy that the missing member of my family is finally here.  I know it sounds weird, but she should have been here 7 years ago.  I wish dad knew her better.

I miss my dad so very much.  It seems like just yesterday that he hugged me and yet it seems forever!